Becoming a Pillar

Welcome to Pray! you whore, a blog that shares my personal journey of repentance, reconciliation, and redemption.

Today, I want to remind you not to run from your purpose.

God has created you with intention, and He is able to use every part of your story for His glory.

Many of the painful seasons we experience are not sent by God, but they can become places where He refines us, teaches us, and draws us closer to Himself.

Too often, we blame God for the consequences of our own decisions. Yet even when we fall short, His grace continues to pursue us.

That is the beauty of the Gospel.

Jesus Christ came to save us from sin, restore us to the Father, and remind us of our true identity.

Our testimony is not meant to produce shame—it is meant to glorify God.

When we become honest about our weaknesses, God demonstrates His strength through our lives.

So be bold.

Walk by faith.

Remember that God is still using you, regardless of what you have been through.

The Holy Spirit continues to remind me that although I am still a work in progress, I am never beyond God's ability to redeem.

Lately, God has had me in a season of humility.

At the same time, He has been teaching me what true confidence looks like—not confidence in myself, but confidence in Him.

When I reflect on Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden, I notice something beautiful.

After they sinned, God still came looking for them.

He was ready to continue the relationship.

Shame and guilt caused Adam and Eve to hide, but God continued pursuing them.

How often do we do the same?

We listen to the accusations of the enemy instead of believing the promises of God.

We hide because we feel disqualified.

Yet God continues calling us by name.

One of the greatest lessons I have learned is that I am not a victim of my past.

Through Christ, I am victorious.

Some of my decisions have taken me out of alignment with God's best, but they have never placed me beyond His reach.

He patiently invites me back into alignment every time I choose repentance.

That invitation is available to all of us.

God's love has never depended upon our perfection.

It has always been rooted in His grace.

Recently, God began speaking to me through the image of a pillar.

Architecturally, pillars are designed to bear weight.

They provide strength, stability, and support for everything built upon them.

Without strong pillars, even beautiful buildings become unstable.

Spiritually, I believe God develops His people in much the same way.

He allows us to grow through seasons that strengthen our character, deepen our faith, and increase our dependence upon Him.

Sometimes the process feels like breaking.

Sometimes it feels like rebuilding.

But every season serves a purpose.

I have also learned something humbling.

Many of the broken pieces in my life were not caused by God.

They were the result of my own choices.

God gave me free will.

He never forced obedience.

Instead, He patiently invited me to trust Him.

Character is formed when we repeatedly choose faithfulness over convenience.

Honor is built through obedience.

A pillar becomes strong because it is anchored to a firm foundation.

For many years, I became frustrated with God's timing.

Eventually, I realized the greatest obstacle was not His timing—it was my unwillingness to surrender my own.

My impatience often led me to hide behind my own version of the fig leaves, much like Adam and Eve.

Today, I am no longer afraid to admit where I have failed.

I have experienced seasons that produced little fruit.

But failure is not my identity.

God's love remains constant, even in my weakness.

He meets us in our brokenness and patiently restores us.

That truth has changed my life.

One passage that has become especially meaningful is Nehemiah 9:12:

"By day You led them with a pillar of cloud, and by night with a pillar of fire to give them light on the way they were to take."

What a beautiful picture.

God did not simply give His people directions.

He gave them His presence.

That pillar represented His guidance, protection, and faithfulness.

As I reflected on that image, I sensed God reminding me that He is shaping my life for leadership.

Not leadership rooted in pride.

Leadership rooted in humility, wisdom, and obedience.

My foundation is no longer built upon my own understanding.

It is built upon my relationship with Jesus Christ and the truth of His Word.

Every trial has become part of my preparation.

Every lesson has strengthened my discernment.

Every act of surrender has deepened my trust.

James 1:2–4 reminds us:

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.