Known, Seen and Loved

Welcome to Pray! you whore, a blog that takes you on my personal journey of repentance, reconciliation, and redemption.

Lately, I have been realizing how easily shame can creep into our minds and keep us from becoming who God has called us to be. Shame is often preceded by doubt, and doubt is one of the enemy's oldest strategies. From the very beginning, he used it in the Garden of Eden to deceive Eve and separate humanity from God's perfect design.

Recently, the Lord has continually brought me back to the story of the Samaritan woman at the well. Through her story, He has been reminding me of my own value in His Kingdom. Jesus chose one of the most unlikely and rejected people in society to proclaim the good news to her community.

So I ask you the same questions I have been asking myself:

What are you ashamed of?

How are you overcoming shame?

When will you finally let it go?

These are the questions I continue to ponder as I reflect on my own life and recognize how shame has held me back in so many ways. My childhood experiences and the image I believed I had to maintain became a prison that left me smiling on the outside while quietly struggling within.

I grew up in an environment built around the phrase, "keeping up with the Joneses."

By no means was my childhood terrible, nor am I ungrateful for the experiences I had. In fact, I believe those experiences shaped both my testimony and the woman I am becoming today. They also taught me that true wealth begins with healthy relationships, strong families, and a firm spiritual foundation.

Growing up, success was often measured by appearances.

How big is your house?

How many cars do you own?

What events do you attend?

How much money does your family have?

Looking back, I realize that those questions created an unhealthy foundation upon which to build my identity. When our identity is not rooted in God, the enemy gladly fills the void with doubt, comparison, and division. Eventually, the houses, cars, private schools, and social status disappeared.My parents divorced. Our family was broken. We were evicted. Everything I once believed gave me value was suddenly gone.

Yet through every loss, God has faithfully shown me that He truly is the Great Restorer, whose love and mercy endure forever. As an emotionally wounded and traumatized child, I did what many of us do when life becomes painful—I ran.

I was angry.

I was frustrated.

I was embarrassed by what I believed my family's failures said about me.

I ran to college and determined that I would make it on my own. That was the beginning of my idolization of self-reliance, where shame quietly disguised itself as independence. I wanted to lose the identity of being someone's daughter. I moved away to Tennessee and later to New York City to finish college and build a life for myself. I even tried to stay close to God by attending church occasionally. But I had not yet discovered my true identity as a daughter of God. That truth had never changed. Only my belief in it had.

The enemy sowed lies of doubt, discouragement, and division until I became ashamed of where I was in life. I felt constant pressure to prove my worth—to myself and to everyone around me.The truth is that we already possess everything we need in Christ. We simply have to learn what it truly means to be the Body of Christ and live from our identity in Him. The Lord continues to remind me of John 4 and the story of the Samaritan woman.

She was an outcast in her own community. She had experienced five marriages, and she was living with a man who was not her husband. Because of her reputation, she came to draw water during the heat of the day, likely avoiding the crowds and the shame she carried. Yet Jesus met her there. He knew every detail of her life. He knew her past. He knew her failures. He knew her shame. And He loved her anyway.

More than that, He revealed His identity to her before many others and entrusted her with sharing the good news throughout her village. What the world considered disqualifying, Jesus transformed into a testimony. That story continually reminds me that God has never forgotten me. He still loves me. He still calls me. He still has a purpose for my life.

God has been reminding me that I am called to lead, to teach His Word, and to boldly proclaim the truth. Never believe the lie that your past disqualifies you from God's purpose. As a child of God, your identity is not determined by your failures but by His grace. My prayer is that the message from Dr. Anita Phillips encourages you as deeply as it encouraged me. May it remind you that your struggles do not define you—they prepare you. Your shame does not disqualify you—it becomes the very testimony God uses to reach someone else.

Continue walking boldly in faith.

Continue sharing your story.

Continue proclaiming the Word of God.

Someone else's freedom may be waiting on your willingness to let go of shame.

XOXO KISS (Keep It Simple & Sanctified)

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Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’

Matthew 22:37-39

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